The Most Useless Travel Blog Posting Ever

Good morning, everyone. I know (or at least I hope) your weekly visits to the Cafe are insightful, interesting and useful - but I think today I may just disappoint.

I'm intrigued by the recent moves in personnel and public statements being made by new Virgin Blue boss John Borghetti as he continues to reiterate that Virgin Blue's future is based on a significant growth in corporate business. Just this past week it was announced for example that he's poached a bunch of his former Qantas colleagues to take on senior roles in Brisbane. And given that he was instrumental in building up Qantas' business products over years down in Mascot I certainly am sure he knows what he's doing.

However, as a frequent business traveller, and someone who flew Qantas predominantly for nearly 6 years and recently started flying on Virgin Blue, my curiosity is based on wondering how on Earth Virgin Blue is going to take a slice of Qantas' stranglehold on the Australian business travel pie. Because much of that curiosity stems from the fact that having flown Virgin Blue nearly every week over the past few months I have absolutely no clue how they are going to pull this off.

I certainly do not profess to know what drives the satisfaction of every single business traveller out there. But having logged my fair share of miles all in the name of whatever organisation I happened to be working for at the time, I do think I have a good idea of what business travellers are looking for in an airline.

But I really, truthfully, have no idea what I would tell John and his old and now new cronies there at Virgin Blue how they're going to capture the business travel market. Thus, today's Cafe being the most worthless travel blog post ever.

What I can tell the Virgin Blue team however, are some things about travelling for business on Virgin Blue that I would think that, if changed/edited/deleted altogether would be a great start:

- Terminal experience: OK, so this is a tough one, given that airlines have only so much control and influence over Macquarie Airports (oops, sorry - I mean airport operators) to enhance the airside experience. That being said, the difference between Sydney Domestic Terminal 2 vs. 3 (Virgin vs. Qantas, basically) is significant. I'm not talking about shopping or food- I'm talking about feel. Most savvy business travellers today in an era of mobile/online check-in are breezing into the terminal with only minutes to spare before boarding and don't give a rats about shopping or eating. The light, airy feel of Qantas' Terminal 3 compared to the dark, low-ceilinged rabbit warren of Terminal 2 makes me want to cut those minutes down to one single minute. T2 in Sydney (and don't even get me started on Melbourne) needs a serious overhaul.

- The "fun" factor: I don't have any specific issue with this, as I enjoy a sharp-witted flight crew and genuinely friendly welcome as much as the next person. What I don't like is when those who are tasked with my safety and onboard comfort put that fun above their job. The problem with the flight crew on Virgin from a business perspective is that they don't pay enough attention to why I am travelling. I don't need a joke after a long day and I'm buried in my laptop as soon as the seat belt sign is off, I just need a "hi there, do you need anything?" and then move on. Even if Qantas' flight attendants aren't always the warmest (generalisation of course, there are some very nice ones) they at least have the "attend" part of the job down pat.

- Make a decision on the front of the plane: the current "Premium Economy" is neither Premium nor good economy. Let's face it: flights in Australia aren't all that long, so why have a product that doesn't really give you any significant difference in the on-board experience? Qantas' domestic business class may not necessarily be "worth it" (again, given relatively short flights) but at least the difference in the product is noticeable.

- Narrow planes = narrow opportunity: Virgin needs to get bigger planes on the more popular routes. Like the earlier points around the "light and airy" feeling in the QF terminal vs. the DJ terminal, there is still something infinitely more comfortable being in economy on board a plane with two aisles rather than one. Every flight on Virgin Blue just reminds me of travelling in the USA, aka: Boeing 737/Airbus A319 hell. No matter that the seats are leather, or that there is a seat-back TV in front of me, I would rather be on a wide-body jet any day of the week. Especially to Melbourne, which is such a short flight that having a wide-body plane for a 50-minute journey seems luxurious. Business travellers like luxury, no matter how small it may seem, and having to cram on board single-aisle aircraft when you could go on something bigger just doesn't cut it. And yes - I am saying I prefer a creaky old wide-body 767 to a brand-new 737.

- Free Foxtel: I would have to think that the most clear-cut differentiator is that Virgin offers 24 channels of live-to-air TV on the seat back in front of you rather than stale Channel 9 news updates with the ingratiating Deborah Hutton winking at you from out-dated overhead monitors. I'm sure JB has already thought of this, but if you want corporate loyalty - give us free Foxtel!

Again, as I have said numerous times, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for an airline to offer various pre-flight and on-board experiences and capture market share all in the name of profitability. So if John Borghetti ever did shimmy up to the Friday Morning Cafe and order up some advice from the Barista, I'm not sure I could truly help him out. But as an avid and well-seasoned traveller, I would hope that my useless advice could perhaps find some value somewhere, somehow. Like JB's goal to achieve 20+% share of the corporate market...we dare to dream....